Thursday, May 31, 2012

Congrats to Jill Long... one of my new apprentices. She sold her home using owner finance techniques I taught her. http://ping.fm/yIIK4

10 Best and 10 Worst Cities for Singles


"Finding the best cities for singles goes beyond simply identifying the places with the highest percentage of bachelors and bachelorettes. Financial factors count, too. After all, you’ll want to meet someone who can afford to date, right?
To put together our list of best cities for singles, we took into account income and living costs. ..."
Read more: http://www.kiplinger.com/slideshow/best-cities-for-singles/1.html#top#ixzz1wRwbdDDT 

Kiplinger Magazine just published their list of the 10 best and worst cities for singles.  Two North Carolina towns made the lists, one in each.  It may surprise you which made it where.

  • Charlotte didn't even get an honorable mention, nor did any of the romantic beach towns of the Carolina coast.

Why would I take time out from talking about how to change adversity into advantage to natter about dating?  Because, the reality is that our romantic lives play a major role in our happiness and well being.

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Not satisfied your dating skills are what they could be?  
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Now, you might say, "Tom, you have been married for more than 30 years now.  You have been out of the dating scene so long.  What the heck can you tell me about dating?"

The answer may surprise you.  My church teaches that every couple should set aside Friday evenings as "Date Night."  The reason for this is simple.  The foundation of the family is the marriage.  The foundation of the marriage is the ongoing romance between the husband and wife.  The fact that I have convinced the same woman to go out with me and stay with me for more than 30 years is actually a testament to my skills in this area.

True, I am probably not the best guy to tell you how to capture a woman's heart or what are the best pick up lines and places.  But I sure can tell you how to keep a woman's heart, and how to make sure you stay caught yourself.

The foundation of a successful long-term romance lies in having a correct understanding of what romantic love is about.  I am not talking about sex versus romance nor am I talking about candlelight dinners or football games.  I am talking about understanding what makes the game of love really work.

I have a cousin who has five children with five different women.  I have five children with the same woman.  Which do you imagine is harder, suckering five different women to jump into bed with you once, or convincing the same woman to keep coming back for more, again and again?

And the first obstacle to a correct understanding is to get rid of Hollywood's and romance novels' destructive and false concept of "falling in love."

The reason it is destructive to talk and think about "falling in love" is because the phrase is programming you to believe that love is something that happens to you - an act of chance, not choice.  When the reality is quite the opposite.  Love is ALL about choice.

What really happens when you "fall in love"?

  1. Something "clicks" between you and that special someone.  It may pheromones, it may be hormones, it may be powerful physical attraction or something more subtle.  Whether it is chemistry or "chemistry" doesn't matter.  The fact is that the first step is attraction.  I will concede here and now that we often have little control over who is attractive to us.  Where the choice comes is in what we do about the attraction we feel.
  2. Having found an attraction to someone, you now have a choice.  You can run away or run toward the object of your desire.  This dash may be mental, physical, or both.  Think of the story from the Bible of Joseph in Egypt.  He was chief servant to Potiphar. Potiphar's delicious looking wife decided she wanted to bed him.  When she corners him, rather than succumb to the attraction, he opts to actually run away, even when she tries to stop him by holding on to his robe.  He gets out of the robe and out of the area where she is.  Of course, Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned. So, she turns the story around and says he was chasing her and he ends up in prison.  Joseph ran away rather than giving in.  Do you suppose that he laid in bed at night imagining how delightful it would be to kiss Mrs. Potiphar?  Not likely.  If he had let his mind dwell on thoughts like that, when the opportunity presented, he would have likely leapt at the chance to live out his fantasy.  Here is the key, he ran away mentally before the physical situation ever presented itself.  If you want to love or not to love, the choice is yours.  Just make a conscious decision to turn  your thoughts toward or away from the object of your attraction.
  3. If you choose to love, and let your thoughts and imaginings build up into fantasies and daydreams about being with this person, then sooner or later the actual opportunity to come together will present itself.  What happens next can be grand or gruesome.  Because then you have to see if reality is anywhere close to your fantasy.  And your partner in passion will likewise be comparing the real you to the fantasy you.  If the distance between reality and fantasy is too much, the budding attraction may die on the spot and like an ill-fated vampire, your emerging romance may find itself with a wooden stake through the heart.  BUT when the fantasy and reality are close enough, you can find yourself on a wonderful journey that can last the the rest of your life and grow deeper, broader, and more intense year after year and decade after decade.
Continuing to love is the key to the long-term romance.  Every day I make a choice to love my wife.  Every time I see an attractive woman, I let my thoughts run away from her and toward my wife.  And I make sure that they do that.  A wise man once taught me that I cannot control what enters the stage of my mind, but I have complete control of what I allow to remain on that stage.

Date night for married couples is all about making that choice to love again and again and to take active steps to keep romance alive and well, regardless of how many years ago we said our vows.

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Can't seem to attract the woman you want?  
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I have to tell you, my wife does her part in this too.  She does her best to keep herself attractive and desirable and she lets me know that she finds me attractive and desirable.  Often when I tell her, "I love you" and she whispers back, "I love you too,"  I follow that up with "I'm so glad you love me. I would hate to think I was in this alone."

It definitely takes two to tango and it takes both partners, working together to sustain a life-long romance.  If you both understand that love is a choice, not something you trip over or fall into, then you are much more likely to choose to love the same person year in and year out, decade over decade.

Tom Sheppard is the author of "Fire Yourself: Get the Job You Want" available from XLibris Press. Tom has been successfully investing in real estate since 2001 while working part time. In 2008 he left a six-figure job as an enterprise project manager with a major national bank to manage his real estate business full-time. His goal is to help 100,000 people find peace of mind by finding quality, affordable homes. He is currently looking to expand his network of funding partners who are helping him achieve this goal. If you would like to know more about how you can Do Well By Doing Good (TM), go to www.CharlotteWealthPartners.com

Tuesday, May 15, 2012

Poison - Not Just a Pretty Face

When we look at folks in the entertainment business we usually just see a pretty face.  Thanks to my mentor JT Foxx, I have learned that some of those pretty faces have some really amazing business minds behind them.

Last year I met Gene Simmons of Kiss and discovered a man who is a branding genius and a phenomenal businessman.
 Pictured left to right, JT Foxx, Gene Simmons, Tom Sheppard

This year, JT Foxx (www.JTFoxx.com) and the folks at Top One Coaching (www.TopOneCoaching.com) brought Bret Michaels, the lead singer and guitarist from Poison to speak to hundreds of successful entrepreneurs at Mega Partnering V in Dallas, Texas.  Sitting in the front row for the entire event, I was able to capture the last few words of advice that Bret Michaels gave us on a short video.  Listen and learn!


Bret Michaels offering some really solid business advice.

I hope that you find that as valuable as I do.  The music business is one where you can be "here today and gone later today." Because most of us don't work in an environment with such a tiny attention span, our "products" and our triumphs tend to win a bit more breathing room for us in our careers and with our customers.  Unfortunately that can often lead us to complacency and the misguided belief that just because we did great things for our clients or our company last month (or last year), they will take care of us into the future.

The harsh reality is that whatever good we have done for our clients often fades very quickly.  And, if we don't do something of real value for them today, they will probably be knocking on the door of our competitor tomorrow.  This isn't disloyalty, it us just reality. 

Every day a business needs to make money.  Every day, people need to earn money.  If they don't businesses will close and people won't eat.  We can never afford to rest on our past accomplishments for more than a nano-second.  Instead, we need to always be looking for ways we can add value to those around us - our employer, our boss, our coworkers, our clients.

At Charlotte Wealth Partners (www.CharlotteWealthPartners.com) we are always working hard to bring value to our partners and clients.  Working with members of The Gold Seal Homes Group (www.GoldSealHomesGroup.com) we make sure we are investing only in quality, affordable homes where our partners and clients will have a reasonable expectation of making a good return on their investments.

Like Bret Michaels, we know we cannot expect to endure unless we keep doing good things for people.  So, even if we hit a home run on a property last week and made a great return for our partners and clients by providing a quality affordable home to a home buyer, we can't stop there.  We keep looking for great deals and we keep delivering value.

As the stocks and bonds crowd has to say, "past performance is not indicative of future results."  Even though the government regulators make everyone say that, we all know that no one in their right mind continues to invest with someone who keeps picking losers.


Chatting with Bret Michaels and listening to him speak I discovered a guy who both enjoys his life and doesn't let his success blind him to the need to continually deliver value to his clients by giving them music that they enjoy and which has enduring value.

That is a tune I believe everyone should be singing.
Thanks for Being a Good Friend to me.  Let me Give something back to you!



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Tom Sheppard is the author of "Fire Yourself: Get the Job You Want" available from XLibris Press. Tom has been successfully investing in real estate since 2001 while working part time. In 2008 he left a six-figure job as an enterprise project manager with a major national bank to manage his real estate business full-time. His goal is to help 100,000 people find peace of mind by finding quality, affordable homes. He is currently looking to expand his network of funding partners who are helping him achieve this goal. If you would like to know more about how you can Do Well By Doing Good (TM), go to www.CharlotteWealthPartners.com

Thursday, May 10, 2012

Co-Founder of Apple, Trump and Poison

What do the co-founder of Apple Computer, Steve Wozniak, the heir to the Trump legacy, Eric Trump and Bret Michaels the lead singer from Poison all have in common?  Me!

Last week, I had a Mega-WOW at Mega Partnering V in Dallas Texas!

Pictured Left to Right, JT Foxx, Tom Sheppard, Steve Wozniak

Pictured Left to Right, Tom Sheppard and Eric Trump
Pictured Left to Right, Tom Sheppard and Bret Michaels

Yes, that is me in all three pictures! Although the first two were red carpet photos, in coming days I hope to be able to post the videos of me chatting with each of these guys in a private reception where I got to meet them one-on-one.  You might notice that the picture with Bret Michaels is in his private tour bus where I was able to meet with him and chat one-on-one for several minutes.

As great as it was to meet and talk with Bret Michaels and Eric Trump, the highlight for me was visiting with Steve Wozniak.

I was working in ComputerLand when the Apple Lisa was created (it was the immediate predecessor of the Apple Macintosh).  I remember selling the Apple, the Apple II and the Apple IIe.  Most people using a personal computer these days, have never seen or even heard of an Apple IIe and very few people ever saw the Lisa or even knew it existed.

For all you techno-philes out there (like me), I have to tell you that Woz (as Steve Wozniak names himself on his card) is a real, dyed-in-wool, certifiable genius computer designer.  It isn't that he cannot program, because he can, but his real love is deep inside the computer chips, making them run like champions.  If the experts could do it with 30 chips, Woz would find a way to do it with 25 chips.

I found in his words, as he told his own story, some of the secrets to the success of Apple.

For him, it was a quest for excellence - always competing against his own personal best.  The result for Apple was that they could do more with fewer chips (and less cost) than anyone else around.  Hooking up that kind of brillance on the inside of the machine with Steve Jobs brilliance in the business is what made Apple the powerhouse it is today.

And, all that brilliance and genius is wrapped up inside of a genuinely nice guy who is as down to earth and friendly as anyone I have ever met.

You should have seen his eyes light up when I mentioned the Commodore Amiga!  Like me, he greatly admired the technical brilliance that it represented.  Unlike me, he had no real interest in the bad business decisions Commodore made that not only utterly failed to capitalize on their amazing product, but ultimately led to the demise of their company.

Woz is a technician and engineer, first, last and always.  Business just gives him the money he needs to pursue his lifelong passion for his real love - computers.

His wildly successful partnership with Steve Jobs illustrates how people with different skill sets can join together in a venture that truly makes the most of each and produces effects that change the world.

My thanks to JT Foxx (www.jtfoxx.com) and Top One Coaching (www.TopOneCoaching.com) for creating the worlds greatest business networking event, Mega Partnering.  I am already signed up for Mega Partnering VI in LA late this year.
Thanks for Being a Good Friend to me.  Let me Give something back to you!



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Tom Sheppard is the author of "Fire Yourself: Get the Job You Want" available from XLibris Press. Tom has been successfully investing in real estate since 2001 while working part time. In 2008 he left a six-figure job as an enterprise project manager with a major national bank to manage his real estate business full-time. His goal is to help 100,000 people find peace of mind by finding quality, affordable homes. He is currently looking to expand his network of funding partners who are helping him achieve this goal. If you would like to know more about how you can Do Well By Doing Good (TM), go to www.CharlotteWealthPartners.com