10 Best and 10 Worst Cities for Singles

"Finding the best cities for singles goes beyond simply identifying the places with the highest percentage of bachelors and bachelorettes. Financial factors count, too. After all, you’ll want to meet someone who can afford to date, right?

To put together our list of best cities for singles, we took into account income and living costs. ..."

Read more: http://www.kiplinger.com/slideshow/best-cities-for-singles/1.html#top#ixzz1wRwbdDDT 

Kiplinger Magazine just published their list of the 10 best and worst cities for singles.  Two North Carolina towns made the lists, one in each.  It may surprise you which made it where.

• Asheville made the bottom ten list.  http://www.kiplinger.com/slideshow/worst-cities-for-singles/4.html#top 

• Durham made the top ten list. http://www.kiplinger.com/slideshow/best-cities-for-singles/3.html#top

• Charlotte didn't even get an honorable mention, nor did any of the romantic beach towns of the Carolina coast.

Why would I take time out from talking about how to change adversity into advantage to natter about dating?  Because, the reality is that our romantic lives play a major role in our happiness and well being.

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Not satisfied your dating skills are what they could be?  

Go to www.maddatingskills.com 

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Now, you might say, "Tom, you have been married for more than 30 years now.  You have been out of the dating scene so long.  What the heck can you tell me about dating?"

The answer may surprise you.  My church teaches that every couple should set aside Friday evenings as "Date Night."  The reason for this is simple.  The foundation of the family is the marriage.  The foundation of the marriage is the ongoing romance between the husband and wife.  The fact that I have convinced the same woman to go out with me and stay with me for more than 30 years is actually a testament to my skills in this area.

True, I am probably not the best guy to tell you how to capture a woman's heart or what are the best pick up lines and places.  But I sure can tell you how to keep a woman's heart, and how to make sure you stay caught yourself.

The foundation of a successful long-term romance lies in having a correct understanding of what romantic love is about.  I am not talking about sex versus romance nor am I talking about candlelight dinners or football games.  I am talking about understanding what makes the game of love really work.

I have a cousin who has five children with five different women.  I have five children with the same woman.  Which do you imagine is harder, suckering five different women to jump into bed with you once, or convincing the same woman to keep coming back for more, again and again?

And the first obstacle to a correct understanding is to get rid of Hollywood's and romance novels' destructive and false concept of "falling in love."

The reason it is destructive to talk and think about "falling in love" is because the phrase is programming you to believe that love is something that happens to you - an act of chance, not choice.  When the reality is quite the opposite.  Love is ALL about choice.

What really happens when you "fall in love"?

1. Something "clicks" between you and that special someone.  It may pheromones, it may be hormones, it may be powerful physical attraction or something more subtle.  Whether it is chemistry or "chemistry" doesn't matter.  The fact is that the first step is attraction.  I will concede here and now that we often have little control over who is attractive to us.  Where the choice comes is in what we do about the attraction we feel.
2. Having found an attraction to someone, you now have a choice.  You can run away or run toward the object of your desire.  This dash may be mental, physical, or both.  Think of the story from the Bible of Joseph in Egypt.  He was chief servant to Potiphar. Potiphar's delicious looking wife decided she wanted to bed him.  When she corners him, rather than succumb to the attraction, he opts to actually run away, even when she tries to stop him by holding on to his robe.  He gets out of the robe and out of the area where she is.  Of course, Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned. So, she turns the story around and says he was chasing her and he ends up in prison.  Joseph ran away rather than giving in.  Do you suppose that he laid in bed at night imagining how delightful it would be to kiss Mrs. Potiphar?  Not likely.  If he had let his mind dwell on thoughts like that, when the opportunity presented, he would have likely leapt at the chance to live out his fantasy.  Here is the key, he ran away mentally before the physical situation ever presented itself.  If you want to love or not to love, the choice is yours.  Just make a conscious decision to turn  your thoughts toward or away from the object of your attraction.
3. If you choose to love, and let your thoughts and imaginings build up into fantasies and daydreams about being with this person, then sooner or later the actual opportunity to come together will present itself.  What happens next can be grand or gruesome.  Because then you have to see if reality is anywhere close to your fantasy.  And your partner in passion will likewise be comparing the real you to the fantasy you.  If the distance between reality and fantasy is too much, the budding attraction may die on the spot and like an ill-fated vampire, your emerging romance may find itself with a wooden stake through the heart.  BUT when the fantasy and reality are close enough, you can find yourself on a wonderful journey that can last the the rest of your life and grow deeper, broader, and more intense year after year and decade after decade.

Continuing to love is the key to the long-term romance.  Every day I make a choice to love my wife.  Every time I see an attractive woman, I let my thoughts run away from her and toward my wife.  And I make sure that they do that.  A wise man once taught me that I cannot control what enters the stage of my mind, but I have complete control of what I allow to remain on that stage.

Date night for married couples is all about making that choice to love again and again and to take active steps to keep romance alive and well, regardless of how many years ago we said our vows.

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Can't seem to attract the woman you want?  

Go to www.maddatingskills.com 

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I have to tell you, my wife does her part in this too.  She does her best to keep herself attractive and desirable and she lets me know that she finds me attractive and desirable.  Often when I tell her, "I love you" and she whispers back, "I love you too,"  I follow that up with "I'm so glad you love me. I would hate to think I was in this alone."

It definitely takes two to tango and it takes both partners, working together to sustain a life-long romance.  If you both understand that love is a choice, not something you trip over or fall into, then you are much more likely to choose to love the same person year in and year out, decade over decade.

Tom Sheppard is the author of "Fire Yourself: Get the Job You Want" available from XLibris Press. Tom has been successfully investing in real estate since 2001 while working part time. In 2008 he left a six-figure job as an enterprise project manager with a major national bank to manage his real estate business full-time. His goal is to help 100,000 people find peace of mind by finding quality, affordable homes. He is currently looking to expand his network of funding partners who are helping him achieve this goal. If you would like to know more about how you can Do Well By Doing Good (TM), go to www.CharlotteWealthPartners.com

Info Renegades Are Coming to Town

One of the great things about working with JT Foxx is that I get to meet his mentors and coaches.  Two of the people that he pays to coach him are coming to Charlotte December 16-18.  I am very excited to attend their three day class (If you want know how to attend for FREE use my link NOW!).

I first met Jeff Vacek and Ken Pruess when I was in LA meeting with JT Foxx and Bruce Buffer (see the video I made with Bruce). Jeff and Ken had recently agreed to coach JT on how to develop the internet side of his business.

I was standing in the back of the room waiting for their event to begin and hoping to catch some of it between sessions with Bruce and JT.  Because I listen to my coach, JT, I was dressed in a nice suit. Several people asked me if I was one of the presenters.  I was flattered, but had to tell them "No."  When Jeff and Ken came in and saw me dressed so nicely they introduced themselves and we chatted for a few minutes.  Then, they asked me to introduce them to the crowd.

I would love to say that I rocked the house with my intro, but frankly I think it was pretty weak.  I was Soooo unprepared and caught off guard by their request.  When the come to Charlotte, I hope to get a second chance to introduce them and if I do get the chance I will do a much better job this time.

Since then, I have met with them on a number of occasions and been able to learn from them.  Here is some of what they will be teaching when they come to Charlotte later this month.

	Exactly How To Choose an Online Market That is GUARANTEED To Be Massively Profitable To Your Bank Account
	The Absolute EASIEST and Cheapest Way To Build an Online Product That Your Market Will Pay TOP Dollar For - Plus You Need ZERO Tech Skills To Make It Happen
	The TOP Online Information Model That Has Collectively Generated Multiple 7 Figures in Revenue For Us Over The Past Six Years (We Only Teach This To Our Highest-Paying Private Clients - But You'll Get The Entire Blueprint)
	How To Get The Most Successful Marketers In Your Market Literally Swarming To Promote Your Product To THEIR List - Also Known As "The Best Kept Secret" of Information Marketing A-Listers
	A Bullet-Proof Method For Building a 5-figure Monthly Info Business In Less Than a Few HoursPer Week
	The #1 SECRET For Building an Online Business That Feeds You Consistently Every Single Month - You'll Wish You Had Learned This LONG Ago

And much more!!

When these guys say they will teach you everything you need to know, they aren't kidding.  This three day class will give you everything you need to start or improve your online business.  The class usually costs $2,997.  However, they are letting me reach out to folks who know me to give you the chance to attend for FREE.  But, you have to act NOW.  The event in nearly sold out and when that happens, I can't give away any more freebies. 

How FREE is FREE?  Well, you do have to pay a $100 fee up front to reserve your seat.  BUT YOU GET  IT BACK - when you show up.  Seriously!

If you use MY LINK NOW!  You can sign up for a $3k class with just a $100 commitment, that comes back to you when you show up.

If you think that is a trick, it isn't.  It costs them money to host an event like this.  It costs them for every chair in the room and for every cup of water at the back of the room.  I know, I have booked events like this myself and the hotels charge for everything they provide.  And, that isn't counting the materials that Jeff and Ken provide - which also cost them money.  So, if they have the hotel set up a chair for you, it cost them.  If they bring materials for you, it cost them.  But they are happy to do it if you will just show up and make it worth their time.

I have enjoyed their materials and am using them to build my own business.  They really work and they really tell you everything you need to know.  At times, when Jeff is going step by step over something I am familiar with already I find myself wanting to say "Yeah Jeff, lets just skip ahead to the parts I don't know"  and then he throws in something I didn't know.  Something other people wouldn't think to tell you.

For instance?  "You can use service A for free or you can use service B for $19.95 per month.  When you are getting started, you may want to use service A.  Then, when the money starts coming in, you can move over to service B.  And you will want to do that then because..."  you get the idea.

And Ken and Jeff really have a commitment to giving their students everything they deserve and more.  When Jeff taught us at Mega Partnering in Chicago last October JT cut him off before he could show us his last four slides.  He kept trying to get JT to let him show us those last four slides the rest of the event.  And that was after he had already given us more than an hour of really great content.

If you have a limited budget for training but want to expand your knowledge of how to leverage the internet, this event is for YOU!  How much cheaper can you get training than FREE!  And, if you live in Charlotte like I do, you don't even have to get a hotel room.  How GREAT is that?!

However, there are only a handful of spots available.  That means if you want to attend the event and only pay the $100 deposit instead of the normal $3000.00 training fee, then you literally need to sign up immediately or else it will be sold out. CLICK HERE

I know that this post has seemed more like a sales pitch than an article, but the reality is that I am super-excited that Ken and Jeff are coming here and I want everyone I know who can take advantage of this to do so.  It is going to be well worth your time and effort, and if you use MY LINK, you can attend for FREE.

As always, I will put in a plug for myself here in my column.  If you want to be added to my regular mailing list and get updates on events like this and other valuable information I reserve for my closest friends, then you can use the sign up below.

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Tom Sheppard has been successfully investing in real estate since 2001 while working part time. In 2008 he left a six-figure job as an enterprise project manager with a major national bank to manage his real estate business full-time. His goal is to help 100,000 people find peace of mind by finding quality, affordable homes. Why pay retail when you can buy a home at below market prices? www.buybelowmarket.com. He is currently looking to expand his network of funding partners who are helping him achieve this goal. If you would like to know more about how you can do well by doing good, contact Tom at TSheppard@CharlotteWealthPartners.com